Complicated Addictions to Relationships

By M. Marques

Having a “moment of truth” or an “epiphany” is subjective. It could be a ground-breaking discovery, like disproving a 1,000-year-old cosmological theory, or as simple as realising that the relationship you’re in is not right for you - and both are equally important in their own way.


Not knowing whether to continue investing in your relationship – romantic or otherwise – can be overwhelming, but perfectly normal; you just have to find the right mindset to approach the situation.
 
Say you’re in a relationship of any type with someone, and you feel like they aren’t treating you well. You ask yourself, “If this person isn’t being nice to me, why am I still committing to them?”. But then, you remember all of those times when they’ve been accommodating, and, in those moments, you felt like the negative parts of the relationship were only temporary. You felt that they had the potential to be a good person, although sometimes they ‘slip’. You’ve seen their good side, and you know it exists, so as long as you keep investing in the relationship, they’ll change how they act with you.


Now, imagine you’re trying to quit caffeine, so you’ve stopped drinking energy drinks, but you still drink coffee because you like it. Just because you stopped drinking energy drinks, have you quit caffeine? No, because you still drink coffee. Can you take the caffeine away from caffeinated coffee? No, you can’t. You’d have to start drinking another type of coffee. So you should stop drinking caffeinated coffee altogether.


That’s a simple analogy to help understand the relationship problem. You’ve done everything you could to reduce the negative impacts of your relationship, but you’re still in it, you’re still hurting. If you want to quit the negativity, you should quit the relationship altogether. That’s a moment of truth – the realisation that maybe something isn’t right for you, whether it’s in a relationship, a habit, your career, or anything that might be holding you back.​